Cookie thief.

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  1. When my father was 9 years old, he was humiliated at school. When the bully bullied him again, my grandmother gave him a piece of glass and told him to cut the bully’s forehead. My father did it and was never bullied because of it. My grandmother took care of him when he had problems at school.

    My father didn’t have much of a choice because she ordered him not to come home until he cut the bully’s face.

  2. This was done by my grandfather to a student who was harassing my uncle at school. Except he told my uncle not to eat the sandwich and instead hand it over to the bully. It was a huge success.

  3. This was done for my uncle in the mid-1950s by my grandmother. My grandmother laced my uncle’s lunch with “syrup of ipecac,” which causes near-immediate regurgitation, because someone kept stealing it as a child. I’m not sure if he was there when the results were announced, but his lunch was never stolen again. Ipecac is no longer commercially available in the United States, to the best of my knowledge.

  4. Bullies should be punched in the mouth… sure, the bully will hit you as well, but he won’t pick on the kid who punched his slut ass face.

  5. When I was in high school, a kid in my class would sneak candy from my lunch when I wasn’t looking. On weekends, I worked at a drugstore where they had these items called feen-a-mints, which looked like after-dinner mints but were really multiple doses in one wafer. I accidentally left a wafer in my pocket, which resulted in the unavoidable. He was gone for a few days and never again stole something from my lunch.

  6. I don’t understand why he would leave the note there. In every way, it would be preferable if the bully didn’t know/started shitting himself on random people.

  7. Kid’s deer jerky was constantly being stolen. Carolin Reaper deer jerky was made. It was thrown on the floor by jerks, but only after they were burnt… That stuff was no problem for Kiddo.

  8. Significant portions of the sardine catch were requisitioned by the German occupiers of Norway during WWII to supply submarines. The Norwegians devised a scheme in which they purchased vast amounts of a tasteless laxative from the British and used it as the canning solvent for sardines.

    It’s easy to imagine how relaxing that was for the sub-mariners.

  9. Someone was taking lunches from me while I worked in the factory. In a lunch bag, a man packed a turkey sandwich, chips, and an exlax-laced brownie. Later in the day, I discovered the culprit on the toilet. He was not shot, but no one’s lunch was robbed once more.

  10. So the message was sent to the bully?

    Is it true that the bully hasn’t finished his cookies yet?

    Is the bully now aware that the kid still has a “true dessert” in his bag?

    What am I overlooking? Isn’t it true that the mother’s scheme failed and that the game was given away because the note was stuck to the cookies?

  11. Last year, I attempted something similar. Since my shampoo was being stolen from my dorm room, I purchased a cheap bottle and mixed it with neon green hair dye. It wasn’t difficult to track down the perpetrator after that.

  12. When I opened a coworker’s lunch, I discovered that his wife had branded the sandwich she had made for him. *Dumb Dickhead* it said.

  13. Two examples from college: my roommate kept stealing my food, so I went to a pet store and bought doggy Oreos. My cookies were old, she complained.
    Peeps getting high and stealing food – made a batch of laxative-laced ice cream and sat back and waited. I double-checked with a nursing student to make sure they weren’t too bad.

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