Just received this letter at my doorstep. Definitely made me chuckle and glad to see people like this are still around.

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  1. When it’s time to text them, do the following: “Hello, I’m not sure what your name is, but your dog gave me your phone number. Could you please ask him to stop peeing on my patio?”

  2. What kind of crazy thinks it’s a good idea to write this out, print it, and hand it out to strangers? Oh, no. When do you stop thinking that speaking in the first person as a dog isn’t insane?

  3. I don’t think a “cute” letter would make me feel any better if I had been kept awake. Perhaps if it were wrapped around a good bottle of wine or a crate of beer.

  4. “I don’t have thumbs…” says the narrator.

    *Places paper typed by the dog on the table*

    Doubt is enabled by pressing the “x” key.

    /s merely in case

  5. “My name is Blu, and you need to have your air conditioning serviced now, in April, otherwise my ‘chatty’ personality would have you shutting your windows allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll

  6. After reading this, did anyone else think this individual was insane? I like how the prose is written in a third-person perspective, it’s a little creepy.

  7. Like an unbelievably cringe-worthy note would compensate for keeping people up all night.

    I have no sympathy for people who behave in this manner. I feel sorry for the animals, but fuck the humans.

  8. I’m a cynical jerk, and all I can think is that this person has too much free time, and I wouldn’t want to speak to them for more than 5 minutes.

  9. “Hey, I don’t want to take any blame for being a poor pet owner and a vexing neighbor, so here’s a sweet photo of my dog and a sob story so you don’t get mad at me, and here’s my phone number, oh but imagine the dog gave it to you because I’m a mental child”

  10. Dogs are social animals that should not be left alone in cages all day. This type of person does not even own a dog. I felt sorry for the dog and the people who lived next door.

  11. 1) If you’re going to leave your dog alone in an apartment for hours on end, don’t choose an active or noisy breed.
    2) You can teach it not to chew on items without putting it in a crate if you can crate train it.
    3) If you just want a husky, get a house or a townhouse.

    It’s just about selfishness.

  12. I’m a little perplexed by the idea of crate training; it seems that the dog is confined to its crate for lengthy periods of time during the day. This is actually illegal in my country.

  13. What is it with Americans who keep their dogs in crates all day?

    It’s inhumane.

    If you own a puppy, you must agree that your home will be ruined, that the Picasso in the downstairs bathroom will be licked, and that the Chippendale dining table will be chewed. It’s just a part of the doggy experience.

  14. When we first moved into our TH, I wrote letters to our neighbors. When we moved in with my then-boyfriend, I had a poor experience with my puppy. When we were at work for weeks, I cried every day. This time, I sent letters and a $25 gift card to our neighborhood grocery store. Thankfully, pupper behaved himself this time.

  15. Dogs are social animals and should not be kept in cages by themselves. throughout the day This type of person does not even own a dog. I felt sorry for the dog and the people who lived next door.

  16. Dogs are social animals that should not be left alone in cages all day. This type of person does not even own a dog. I pity the dog and the people who live next door.

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