Special sanitizer



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30 Comments

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  1. Once, my ex grabbed lube instead of hand sanitizer by mistake. But only for the front door, not the back. In any case, it’s not fun.

    oh fuck, edit I meant I picked sani instead of lube by mistake.

  2. -Jesus I’m crying like a baby over here, and I’m not sure if it’s because I’m sleep deprived or because I’ve had two beers to encourage a nap.

  3. My arsehole was itchy at the time, so I sprayed it with Gold Bond spray powder. My starfish felt the best it had ever felt for about five seconds because it came out at such a low temperature. Then the fire began to burn.

  4. A previous passenger had scraped the letters off the tray in front of me on a flight to London:

    “When sitting, please fasten your seat belt.”

    Assumed

    “When eating, please fasten your fat belt.”

    After that, I never boarded another plane.

  5. I was drying my hands with an air dryer the other day when it occurred to me that back in the day, it was expected that someone would scratch out and modify letters on old blowers to write something obscene. I’m glad to see the joke is still going strong in a new way.

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