Milestones [OC]



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25 Comments

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  1. Congratulations on your sixteenth birthday! You are able to obtain your license.

    Congratulations on reaching the age of eighteen! You can drink, smoke marijuana and cigarettes, get a fuckjob, and do those four things every day of your life. Fasten the seatbelts.

  2. An alternative version is:

    Comments such as “X country is so much better than Y country because you can do Z at age N” were common in the past.

  3. β€œThe sun is similar in some ways, but you’re older.
    β€œI’m getting short of steam, and I’m one day closer to death.”

  4. You started driving at the age of 14 because you had a motorcycle learner’s permit πŸ™‚

    Also, you’re driving nowhere because your friends live within walking distance, but the nearest major city worth visiting is 70 minutes away πŸ™

  5. My autistic client, who is an exceptional math student for a young child, told me “awe!! You’ve already completed 25% of your work “”There’s life!!” I had a good laugh… and then had an existential crisis later on.

  6. In the UK, for example, 16-year-olds can ride a moped, 17-year-olds can drive a motorcycle, and 18-year-olds can legally drink; anything after that is just an age.

  7. … at 25, you can run for Congress,… at 30, you can run for Senator,… at 35, you can run for POTUS,… at 55, you can get cheap Dennys meals!

  8. I’m pretty sure I’m the only one in this forum who enjoys getting older. My early thirties have been fantastic for me. I’m in probably the best shape of my life, have recently purchased a house, and am in a good position in my career. Like everybody else, I’m just waiting for this pandemic to end.

  9. Here are some of my major achievements:

    If you live to be 28, you’ll outlive Kurt Kobain. Outlive Jesus until you’re 33. Steve Irwin, to 45. Adolf Hitler, 57. Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher, Carrie Fisher, Car David Bowie is 70 years old. Kim il-sung, 83. Sean Connery, 91. Metuselah, 967.

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